Egos and Existences

And then I got tired of my church telling me how I should worship God.

I don't want to put the importance of having a church-home on the back burner, but when the Church oversteps its boundaries and starts dictating how they believe you should worship, then you have a serious problem. Through my understanding, church should be a place where you go to worship freely, in your own way, to fellowship with other believers, and simply spend time with He who made us. To others, church is not that cut and dry. But is should be.

So, here we are. I am looking for a new church, but not just because I was unhappy at my last church, but because I do need that spiritual guidance that the pastor, and assistant pastor, and the entire body of Christ can offer me. I am not sure when I will find what I am looking for. The important thing here is that I am looking. Until then, I will do what I can to be a humble servant, go to Scripture when I have deep questions, and stay faithful to what I believe in.

  So I told a good friend and confidant that I was going to be writing this blog, and he asked me why I named it Egos and Existences. So, I began to tell him the short story behind it, and now I would like to share it with you.

  The title has been heavy on my heart for a while, because I often sit and think how so many of us, not just Christians or religious people, but everyone, spend so much time trying to please our egos that we forget how to truly enjoy our existences. When thinking of this, I like to sit and relax on the fact that us even being able to have existences is a blessing in itself. Truthfully, thinking about such complex things such as our existence is nerve-wracking. But it gives me a deep sense of desire to not waste the time that I have been granted. And my personal prayer is that you desire to not waste yours, either.

  Once I learned to shed my own egotistical behaviors, I found that the sense of belonging within me had grown immensely. Yes, even now I still struggle with things that I wish I could simply control and put behind me, but anyone who has gone through anything (and we have all gone through something) knows that it can't be that simple. 
  Yeah, so I just wanted to stop in a inform you guys, in case anyone wondered why I named the blog Egos and Existences. I promise that from this point on, my posts won't be as boring. Love you all, and God bless.

  I have spent the last 3 nights contemplating what it was that I was going to write here as my first post. And then I started thinking to myself, "why does it matter?" It isn't like I am trying to impress anyone, and I am not being graded, so I could write anything I want and noone could say a thing about it.

  My hope for this blog is that you not come seeking spiritual guidance, because I am not a pastor, or minister, or preacher, or whatever. I am just a man who has problems ( just like everyone else), and I find that the best medicine for those problems comes from writing. The ways that I seek God and His guidance are sometimes difficult for even I to understand, so I stopped trying to understand a long time ago. I am a doubter, naturally, as many other people are. This is not meant to be understood as me not relying on Christ, but simply an observation that I have a hard time giving everything over to Him. But I am trying.

  I hope that I don't bore you with my life here, but this blog is intended to be a journal, of sorts, for my own spiritual practices and problems, and for understanding why I live the way that I do. It is my dream that my own life may help others in understanding things about themselves, and I promise to accept all feedback, positive or negative.

  Until then, stop in for a few and chat with me.